Agency’s unity is manifest at memorial

By CHRIS BRENNAN

HOUSTON, TX – The spokeswoman usually doesn’t choke up and weep between interviews. The chief hydraulics engineer does not seem the sort to discuss haunting pictures of history he can’t watch.

But that was the kind of day NASA had here yesterday during a memorial service for the seven astronauts who perished in the space shuttle Columbia Saturday morning while returning home after 16 days far above us.

President Bush and busloads of lawmakers came to sit with the families of the lost explorers under a pale blue Texas sky bursting with brilliant sunlight. The politicians spoke of finding answers and keeping the exploration of space on pace.

That work falls to NASA engineer Howard Wagner and spokeswoman Eileen Hawley. The two represent the sheer breadth of NASA’s operations, from science and technology to politics and public relations.

They also speak the same NASA message: We will learn. We will not forget. We will move forward.

Hawley’s husband, Steven, is an astronaut who has flown five times in a space shuttle, including trips on Columbia in ’86 and ’99.

Between on-air discussions with television reporters yesterday, Hawley began to cry and then thanked a reporter for giving her a minute. “It gave me a chance to breathe,” she said.

The deaths of seven colleagues who trained here have worn on the emotions of the 10,000 employees at the Johnson Space Center.

“It is right there beneath the surface and we’re all struggling with that,” Hawley said. “But this is a first step to help us heal and move on. We’re all just taking care of each other. ”

Wagner is on the team investigating what went wrong. He did the same job 17 years ago after the space shuttle Challenger blew up soon after take-off.

“You basically just set aside your emotion and do the job,” Wagner said, carefully measuring each word. “You turn it off. I don’t watch the news. I sleep, go to work, go home and sleep again. In a couple of weeks, I’ll have time to think about it. ”

That’s the way he handled the last shuttle calamity, which claimed the lives of astronauts he knew. Wagner remembers a NASA staff numbed by its loss, which lingers and has grown since Saturday.

“People walked around for weeks in almost silence,” he said of the Challenger explosion. “They just did their jobs and let the emotions come out slowly. Seventeen years later, I still turn the TV off when they show the film of the Challenger. It doesn’t get any easier. ”

NASA’s staff heard words of encouragement from Bush, who sat during the memorial next to Evelyn Husband, widow of shuttle commander Rick Husband.

During Bush’s speech, Husband and her daughter, Laura, sobbed and bowed their heads toward each other, their blonde hair touching.

“To leave behind Earth and the air of gravity is an ancient dream of humanity,” Bush told the crowd of about 14,000, some standing 25 deep to watch the ceremony.

“For these seven, it was a dream fulfilled,” he continued. “Each of these astronauts had the daring and discipline their calling required. Each of them knew that great endeavors are inseparable from great risks. Each of them accepted those risks willingly, even joyfully, in the cause of discovery. ”

While NASA’s people appreciated the memorial, held in the same spot where the Challenger crew was eulogized, some left feeling that the agency’s message may not be getting through.

“What can you say about the loss of people who have such a yearning to do such things?,” asked Glen Dominick, a quality-assurance manager for NASA’s space station program who knew Columbia pilot William McCool. “Sometimes words are inadequate.”

Debbie Lipet, an analyst for NASA contractor Boeing, was upset that many people north of Houston did not know a shuttle mission was under way until debris and body parts began falling as Columbia splintered into thousands of pieces.

“Now they do,” Lipet said. “Now they know the importance of it. People don’t realize what NASA is about. ”

The Challenger explosion prompted a halt on launches until the root problem of the accident was fixed. NASA is again in a holding pattern for launches, but with a much tighter deadline. The crew of the International Space Station has supplies on board right now to last until June.

“We’ve got three astronauts in orbit right now,” said Wagner, the engineer, before heading back to work after the memorial. “They need a ride home. We’ve got to figure out what went wrong.”